The Heart of the Matter - Part Five

 

THE FOLLOWING IS COPYWRITTEN MATERIAL

NO PART OF IT MAY BE REPRODUCED

WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE AUTHOR

 

This is Part 5 of a 15-Part Series

about healing and the 4th chakra

extracted from the 2016 Tracking the Soul Webinar Class

 

Previous posts in this series include:

 

Focused Attention

Unconditional Self-Acceptance

The Role of the Sun in the Healing of the Heart

The Role of the Moon in the Healing of the Heart

 

The Role of Venus in a Healing of the Heart

 

Venus in the 4^th chakra is about the possibility of relationship, and the experience of intimacy. In the 4^th chakra, we are not alone – we are part of a web of relationships: with other human beings; and with the more-than-human world of plants, animals, mountains, rivers, clouds, stars, and every other possible feature of the natural world. Who we are in the 4^th chakra, is to some extent, no longer defined by our own individuality. Yes, it is true that in the 4^th chakra, our sense of uniqueness, of what our particular place is within the larger scheme of things is deepened. But within this deepening is the recognition that it is the larger scheme of things – this larger web of relationships – that to a large extent determines who we are and what our lives are all about.

This awareness of being part of a web of relationships is, as we discussed in Part Four of this series, also an expression of Moon in the 4^th chakra, but with Venus there is a different focus. With Venus, it is not so much a matter of belonging as it is of discovering who we are in relationship, as a relational self, and about engaging those who are in some way different than us. The Moon celebrates our commonality; Venus celebrates our differences. Vive la difference! is an expression of Venus in the 4^th chakra.

In Tracking the Soul, I spoke about the 4^th chakra as a soul space where three kinds of resonance take place. There is resonance by affinity – that is where we naturally gravitate to others that are like us in some way. This is where we do feel like a member of a tribe, and where we have a sense of sharing something in common with the other members of a tribe. So, there is this sense in which like attracts like, and Venus does participate to some extent in this process.

A former mentor of mine – born to Italian immigrants – used to say, “Make sure you marry someone from the neighborhood,” meaning that the best partner is probably someone who shares your basic values, worldview, and likes what you like. This creates a certain comfort of familiarity in relationship – that I call resonance by affinity – that is an important ingredient.

There is, however, also resonance by contrast – where we naturally gravitate to others that are fundamentally different than us in some way. This is where opposites attract. If our partners are identical twins to us – not that this ever happens in real life – but to the extent that it does, boredom sets in. Relationships are not just about being stuck in a comfortable and familar groove. They are also about discovering something new – about ourselves, and about our partners. Vive la difference! This is of course, where love makes the world go round.

Thirdly, there is what I call resonance by wounding. This is where – usually on an unconscious level – we gravitate toward people and/or situations in which our wounds are triggered and re-opened so we can address and hopefully heal them, where we can learn and grow, and where we have the opportunity to do our soul work, as painful as that can sometimes be. This is the kind of attraction that happens between the moth and the flame, and it is also part of the dynamic in the 4^th chakra.

One of my spiritual teachers – Yogi Bhajan – used to say that marriage, or committed relationship, is the highest and hardest form of yoga there is. We think we are just falling in love with someone, and that love will last forever, but really, underneath it all, there is soul work to be done that we wouldn’t necessarily choose to do if we could have seen it coming ahead of time. This is, nonetheless, an essential part of any important relationship. Sometimes the soul work is about working together in relationship to create something that is more than the sum of its parts. Sometimes, it is about working through issues that are triggered by our partners. Without this dimension of an intimate relationship, over the long haul, for any soul that is consciously on a journey toward wholeness, something essential will seem to be missing.

All three kinds of resonance – by affinity, by contrast, and by wounding – are governed by Venus in the 4^th chakra. Venus is, of course, also an important planet in the 2^nd chakra, but here it functions somewhat more instinctually, and mostly through resonance by affinity. In the 2^nd chakra, we generally gravitate toward that which gives us pleasure; where our natural preferences and predispositions govern our choices; and where we each seek the good life, whatever that means for us. Although relationships are a part of this dynamic in the 2^nd chakra – especially in relation to sexuality – they are in many ways incidental to our desires for pleasure, enjoyment, and fulfillment in life. In the 2^nd chakra, relationships tend to be more about self-gratification, and mutual pleasuring, rather than genuine intimacy.

When Venus functions as a 4^th chakra planet, the whole process of attraction and relationship becomes more complex, as we all know all too well. Relationships – intimate and otherwise – are not just a matter of mutual pleasure. They also entail contrast, and wounding, and usually the strongest, most important relationships entail all three kinds of resonance. This gets complicated. So all of the issues that arise that can complicate the best of relationships are part of Venus’ domain in the 4^th chakra. We have to work these things out. Yes, there is the good stuff, but there is also the work of two people aiding each other in their soul growth, and there is also the stuff we just don’t understand – the whole “men are from Mars; women are from Venus thing.”

When we learn how to be with another person – or for that matter, in relation to anything or any aspect of our life – where we are able to enjoy the things we enjoy; learn what there is to learn; and be at peace and in acceptance in relation to those radical differences that we just can’t comprehend, then Venus is functioning in the 4^th chakra in a vibrant and healthy way, and the result is intimacy. Intimacy is the capacity to be fully present in relationship to another with loving, curious, tolerant, open-hearted attention.

Again, as with other sensitive planets in the 4^th chakra, Venus’ capacity to function as a catalyst to intimacy depends upon what happens in the preceding chakras - in this case, the work of being able to enjoy life in the 2^nd chakra, to relate to this world as though it were a wonderfully compelling place, beckoning to be explored. When we are in this frame of mind, we naturally enter into a deeper sense of relationship with the world, and with all the other life forms – human and more-than-human in it. And in this place of wonder, the heart opens, and we fall in love with the world, warts and all.

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If you find what you are reading here, you may be inspired to want to go to the heart of the matter in your own life.  If so, and if you have a working knowledge of astrology, the 2017 Tracking the Soul Webinar Class may be for you.  The class starts in mid December, and there are still a few openings left.  Class size is limited, however, so if the inspiration hits, you might want to take the leap now.  You can read more, and sign up here.